"Have you lost weight?"

Weigh in day on the 12wbt program is Wednesday.  Today is Thursday and as yesterday was a little bit disappointing with only a loss of 100gms I did a SWI (sneaky weigh in).   The reading was 66 kilos exactly.  Bringing my total loss to 57 pounds and putting me only 2.2 pounds off goal weight.

As you can imagine losing so much weight has made me look a little bit different.  In fact people who have not seen me for a while do one of three things.

The first is the vague smile and hello.  They know they should know me but don't quite know where from.  I have had a few apologies from people who worked it out later.

The second is the amazed gushing, "OMG you look so good.  You've lost so much weight! You must feel so much better!"  I can only make of this how bad I looked before.

The third is the quiet hello then the confused look and then the,

"Have you lost weight?" 

This last one is the most disconcerting.  I see the pursed lips and the wrinkled brow and I know when I reply in the affirmative that the next question is,

"How?"   

My answer is always "Well I lost 10 kilos on my own and then  another 16 doing Michelle Bridges Program."

I am a bit of a walking advertisement.

Then the clanger...

"Is it easy?" 

I could say that it's easier than feeling breathless and ill all the time, being borderline diabetic, depressed and worried about heart disease.  I could say that it's easier than trying to tie my shoelaces used to be or finding clothes that made me look half decent.  But I don't.

I say,

"It's hard.  But it's so worth it."

Because it is.

Back on Track

Here's to a new year and getting my mojo back.  I weighed in this morning at 66.5 kilos or (146.3 pounds) which is the least I have weighed since starting this life change.  

I signed up to do a third round of  Mish Bridges 12 week body transformation and because I am so close to my goal weight I am opting to do the "Train to run 10 Km" program.  To start this program I need to be able to run 2 km or 20 minutes non stop.  I have managed that on around two occasions.  I am trying to run at least 3 times a week to get better at it.  I keep telling myself that I can do it.  Two years ago I could hardly walk 100 metres.  Seven months ago I could front brace for all of 10 seconds and I could not do a sit up. By doing a little bit over and over I have improved.

One of the runs I do is Park Run.  This is a 5km run that is held weekly at sites all around the world.  It's not a race against anyone but yourself.  I can recommend it for anyone who is wanting to get out and move.  There is no pressure and everyone taking part is in a good mood. 

Sometimes they take photos of participants.  A picture is worth a thousand words. 

I love the thought of running.  I love how I feel when I finish running.  I love planning to go for a run. As for the actually running - I don't love it so much.  

Another Type of Loss

October 2012 was hard.  A lot of stuff happened culminating in my father passing away from prostate cancer.

I was so lucky that my sister was able to spend time with him before he passed, and then with me, afterwards.  I am lucky that I got to spend over a year helping to care for my father and he basically got to see the change in me step by step.

I know it made him smile when I complained about trying to run and he would tell me to keep doing it because it was good for me.

I know he was really proud of me and my siblings, his grand kids and how we are living our lives.

I now know that if I am feeling really sad or stressed that going for a walk or a run is a better fix than stuffing my face.

In a while when we are ready, we are going spread his ashes at a place called Duck Reach.  We lived there for a while when I was really young and he loved the water and the bush there.  He would also get a kick out of knowing that to go visit "him" we have to walk up and down over 100 really steep steps.  RIP Papa.

Got My Mojo Back!

This is the sixth week of Round 3 of 12WBT.  It's my 18th week and after a bit of a lull, I seem to have my mojo back.  I think my inner teen was raging against going straight from one round into the next with no time to "treat" myself or have a "break" from the program.  My back problem made my inner grumpy old woman complain that I was really too old to be doing all this silly stuff like trying to run.

What has kept me going is Mish's voice in my head saying JFDI.  Every day my new thinness brings a new surprise.  I am beginning to wonder when I will become used to this new body I am in.  At first it was being able to bend and tie my laces while being able to take a breath.  Then it was being able to climb stairs and be able to breathe.  Now it's the feel.  A pointy elbow.  My biceps starting to have some definition. My shoulder blades hitting against a chair back.  My 40 plus pound overcoat has gone and no treat or break is going to be better than that.  In 1.4 kilos I will weigh less than I have for 20 years.  It's usually at this point, just slightly about my healthy BMI, that I fall out of the weight loser zone and the coat starts to creep back on.

There seems to be no sign of that happening this time.

Tonight I ran just under 5 kms in around 35 minutes.  It wasn't non stop.  I didn't push myself really hard.  I felt light on my feet and comfortable most of the time.  As I was running I thought, I can't wait for how good it's going to feel when there is even less of me to carry.

I have had a bad back.  I didn't hurt it exercising.  I hurt it standing.  A couple of weeks ago I went on a hike with friends and then went home to shower before spending the next 4 hours helping at a charity BBQ.  It was aching a little while I was there and after dinner it was really hurting.  I put heat packs on it, rubbed it and finally had a couple of painkillers.

The next morning I could hardly get out of bed.  I couldn't stand straight or sit down .. very inconvenient first thing in the morning.  This was all made a little trickier by the fact that I was meant to be dancing later that day with a group of mums.  I am not a dancer btw.  Its just a fun thing we do once a year.  Still I had to be able to lift my legs and bend a little.  Icing it and rubbing it with deep heat and taking strong pain killers got me through.

This week I have been slowly getting back to running a little and my back is feeling lots better.  It was a bit of  a wake up call on taking my body for granted.  Pencil in more stretching and longer warm ups for this old duck from now on.

Today is the second day in this decade that I have weighed under 70 kilos.  I announced yesterday on several of the 12 wbt groups I belong to that I had reached a new lower decade on the scales, and was praised for my hard work.  I have to say I felt like a bit of a fraud.  It doesn't feel like hard work.  It does feel like I have been doing it forever but it does feel like I could work harder if I needed to.  Who knew exercising a little every day would be so effective... *eye roll*

I left it until today to blog because yesterday's 69.9 may not have stayed.  This morning it was 69.7.  I have another 2.5 kilos to lose to make it a loss of 50 pounds and I am aiming to hit 65 kilos - my penultimate goal by mid November.

The third round finale of 12 wbt is being held in Sydney on November 19.   I'm going!!  Apart from doing some shopping to celebrate, I have booked in with a group of other 12wbters and my sister to do this:

Sydney Harbor Bridge Express Climb

I am not thinking too hard about it or my fear of heights at the moment.

So...  I stink at blogging.  My major downfall is starting and creating a back story.  So... I have decided to not do that.  No back story... Just ramblings about this weight loss trip. Please forgive me. I will leave the earlier attempts up and just wade in.  I may backfill as we go on


So far I have lost 22 kilos.  12 of them doing Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation.

92 kilos down to 70.1 kilos as of this morning.

I am a daily weigher!!  So shoot me I can't help myself.

Random stuff I have noticed since being on this trip. (tried typing jour.. journ... I just can't do it sorry)

Bones:  I have them in my bottom.  It will not be long before I need a cushion.

Muscles: I have them.  After boot camp I find them in places I didn't know existed. I am working on finding my abs.  I know they are there somewhere.

Chipmunk Cheeks: Well jowls really.  I thought they were a part of the aging process and that I frowned too much.  Well they aren't.  They were fat.  Hey there jawline... it's nice to see you again.

Food: I really, really didn't like vegetables before.  Now I do. OMG!

Running: I can do it.  Sometimes.  This C25K thing. It's meant to take a few months.  It seems to be taking longer but I can run now.  Slowly.

Skin: and hair... are a lot better if you eat properly.

Sugar: I can do without you.  I used to love your sweetness but no longer. 

Challenges: I am accepting them now.  I have gotten past worrying about failing.  I don't have to be the best at everything.  I don't have to be the best at ANYTHING.  I can have fun doing though. 

Now here is where I should put some interesting anecdote or  rounding out of the piece.  Not going to.  I need to go have some calories and hopefully I will be back sooner than in three months time.